Carol Lazar

You should sleep soundly on holiday but it rarely happens because there is no bed like the home bed.
A Tibetan doctor of bones I met while floating on a houseboat across Lake Dal in the foothills of the Himalayas, advised that we abandon our beds and sleep on the floor. A venerable 78-year-old Tibetan doctor of bones knows about such things.
Dr Yee explained that lying on a flat, hard surface with spine and limbs straight, improved posture, guaranteed a good night’s sleep, and banished constipation, the root, he added, of most problems.
He pointed out that arthritis and rheumatism were virtually unknown in the wild. Had I ever seen a giraffe with backache?
Indeed, no giraffe I’d encountered had mentioned ailments, but then, who would question the word of a knowledgeable Tibetan bone doctor? I think about Dr Yee often.
A bed is such an integral part of our lives and so often when travelling, we have to rest our weary body in all manner of non-user-friendly divans, couches or bunks.
Tracking down a comfortable bed is a challenge.
In Barliloche, glorious home of the Andes and aged, escaped Nazis, I shared my bed with a vibrator. At first I thought I’d struck it lucky but not so. The bed rested against the air conditioner and when turned on, (the bed, I mean), I was blasted out.
In Mexico, sharing a bed with three others, the mattress was so soft we slid to the middle and took it in turn to sleep at the top, bottom and in-between.
A night in a hammock in the Seychelles resulted in me being unable to stand upright for a week and in Uganda, I found a bed that was so uncomfortable I may as well have slept on nails like one of my well-known predecessors.
In Germany, the mattress was so hard I had to salute it before climbing in and England’s antique beds from Queen Bodicaea’s time disintegrated on contact. I have taken Dr Yee’s advice literally. The bed problem is solved and the ubiquitous F words rule. Flat floor!

South Africa’s best known veteran travel writer Carol Lazar has crossed the Andes on a yak, climbed Kilimanjaro with a toothache, sailed in the Queen Mary 2, eaten pickled penis in Tunisia, and been lost on more transport systems than you can count. She’s had tea with Prince Philip at Buckingham Palace, dinner with Prince Charles at Powys Castle and coffee with Al Gore in Miami. She’s shared a camel in the Sahara with Naseem Abdul of Tunis and a bicycle with Boris Binkel in Vienna. Now based at at the southernmost tip of the USA, she is unique; a turquoise true blue transplanted African Key West granny, the only one …