TravelWrite

Life for me is always… a mad rush.  I travel hard. I run fast. Always in heels. So when a sudden opportunity came up to jet over to Hollywood for the premiere of “Judy” starring Renée Zellweger, I grabbed my little suitcase and off I flew.

We shared this semi-detached abode with our 60-something Finnish landlady who walked around in her bra, as is the summer custom. Indeed, I saw more Swedes in their underwear – business is clearly brisk for tattoo artists – than decent restaurants. It’s a great social leveler.

By the time the official has unearthed to the passing public’s prurient gaze, the gussets of your unwashed knickers, your extra control compression girdle (with derriere lift) and held aloft –“What ees thees?” – the vibrating hand your husband got you in Copenhagen for your stiff neck, your dignity will be dust

Our thoughts matter and absolutely affect the atmosphere. Let us be grateful for the abundance of nature. Our gratitude for this abundance can indeed guide us toward a better use of our life-giving resources, and creating industries that produce what we need in abundance without pollution.

Traditionally, ruling the waves has meant waiving the rules.  Ship owners in wealthy maritime nations have registered their vessels in countries with no minimum wages, labour standards, corporate taxes, or environmental regulations; in short, every corporation’s dream.

Despite the Hollywood hype, piranha only devour dead flesh. Should you fall into the Amazon River, a tour guide from Den Blå Planet in Copenhagen advises flailing about to let these aquatic scavengers know you’re alive.

Last year I decided that my advancing years meant that I should pay more attention to the adverts on the radio and upgrade to First Class. I rationalized the extra cost with the fact that I had very few accommodation costs in the UK,  had no children to support and that I bloody well deserved it.

Designed for Copenhagen's Hotel Royal. which opened in 1960, Arne Jacobsen's Egg Chair cracked the nod in homes, offices, clubs and airports around the world, starring in several Hollywood movies and cradling the buttocks of the rich and famous.

When Carol Lazar used to attend business conferences, she'd only take one pair of formal shoes. In New York, while dressing for a morning session, she discovered the heels of her shoes didn’t match. One was high, the other low ...

The service left something to be desired. While clearing away my plate, the waiter spotted a speck of food on the less-than-pristine tablecloth and commented: “You eat like a peeg!”

Mistaking my hesitation for shyness, he hauls me to my feet and propels me to a quiet spot away from the group, the better to bend my ear.“Know how to find Alpha and Beta Centauri?” he asks. Who cares? I'd much rather find a G&T!

Laundry is another bugbear for the corporate backpacker. Most contracts or company travel policies stipulate the “incidentals are for your own account”. My shirts cost less than what they charge to launder one in most hotels, and for prolonged stays you see the costs mounting.

From my bed I'd watch a Bloody Mary sunrise fortifying the day, then set off for breakfast at Terrace Café, followed by a cookery class, where I learnt to make scones and  a frittata. I believe I can fry!

Tournament chiefs insist they want to keep up with the times. If that that was the case, they would forgo their insistence on the ban on coloured clothing (whites are mandatory) for players in matches outside of the practise courts.

Despite the daily invasion of tourists that flood Venice, many districts retain their village sensitivities with butchers and bakers rather than the ubiquitous Venetian mask and glass shops, but even at peak visitor times, you’re never more than a bridge and an alley away from more secluded squares, 16th century Gothic palaces and wine bars

Following the Dunblane Primary School massacre (where tennis star Andy Murray first attended classes) handguns in Britain were declared illegal in 1996. The knife is now the choice of weapon and these are freely available from any supermarket.

Publicist Tilly Smith Dix finds herself between a rock and a hard place when a travel editor at her client's five-star hotel chooses to insult the establishment's hostess.

Every now and again my elephant would detour into the vegetation and snack on a small tree. Bits of jungle would tumble into my lap, sometimes with spiders still attached.

No self-respecting salle de cuisine is complete without a 9kg mortar and pestle from Thailand, a 2kg granite bibimbap bowl and companion wooden bench from Namdaemun Market in Seoul or a stainless steel stacking tiffin box (complete with padlock!) from Mumbai’s Crawford Market.

The paintings appear three-dimensional and looking up feels a glimpse into heaven. The impressive Baroque library houses 12,000 books from the 15th, 16th and 17th centuries that were re-bound in leather with gold leaf.

“Knowing where to leave a tip is as important as knowing where not to,’ says Wego chief marketing officer Joachim Holte. “In the UK, tipping for food in restaurants is okay, although unexpected as service charges are included. Yet, tipping for drinks at a bar is just not cricket!”