Sunday, January 19, 2020

A journey for Mum

I reach Mum, who is in the severe grip of Alzheimer’s. The joy on her face is a sight to behold. We hug and kiss and then the journey back starts. “Where are we going?” she asks. Off to see Bodie and Doyle, Kojak and Arthur from Minder.

New York with Miss Universe

Miss Universe 2019 Zozibini Tunzi and Jen Su at a New York café. The beauty queen enjoys sipping on hot chocolate to keep warm during the winter chill. Photo: Hunter Peress.
“I tried a New York bagel for the first time,” explained Zozi Tunzi with excitement, when I met our current Miss Universe the first time.  “A bagel with salmon and cream cheese …”

20 travel writing tips

The writer's job is to immerse armchair travellers into worlds unseen. Here are 20 travel writing tips on how to make your copy sing and keep your readers engaged

Visiting San Francisco

A circus looking for a tent is how Will Durst described San Francisco, but he might just as well have been speaking about Fisherman’s Wharf.The northern waterfront area is full of surprises from scary Laughing Sal at the Musee Mecanique to pelicans and sea lions on Pier 39’s concrete slabs.

Full Speedo ahead!

Going for a thong? Please don't. It always looks wrong!
In terms of horror, the sight of a man in a thong ranks alongside the discovery of a fingertip in your burger or dropping your car keys down a storm water drain. The high-cut posing pouch may promise an adequate lunchbox from the front but the sagging rear view is no picnic!

How to win at twitter

Twitter is about cyber conversations with others whose interests may be similar ito yours. Sharing views on solar electricity, water recycling or conservation, among safari lodge owners or wading in on pertinent issues affecting your area can 'personalise' your venue.

When you gotta go!

If you are queasy, stay home because you will find every kind of lavatorial arrangement in the course of your holiday abroad. In many Middle East, Far East, Asian and African countries, a squat-and-aim hole in the ground suffices.

Fragrant Theft

By the time the official has unearthed to the passing public’s prurient gaze, the gussets of your unwashed knickers, your extra control compression girdle (with derriere lift) and held aloft –“What ees thees?” – the vibrating hand your husband got you in Copenhagen for your stiff neck, your dignity will be dust

Goatly encounters

Michael Gebicki comes off second best in an encounter with a goat in India’s green Kumaon region, which squeezes itself into the hindquarters of Tibet.

Hasta la bistro

For others like myself who find foreign menus harder to follow than a Gauteng taxi evading the Metro cops, you'd better get used to adventure ordering, as Google Translate can be unreliable.

Hollywood in 48 Hours

Buzzing through Hollywood & Highland, Los Angeles, CA, USA
Life for me is always… a mad rush.  I travel hard. I run fast. Always in heels. So when a sudden opportunity came up to jet over to Hollywood for the premiere of “Judy” starring Renée Zellweger, I grabbed my little suitcase and off I flew.

Clock shock

We shared this semi-detached abode with our 60-something Finnish landlady who walked around in her bra, as is the summer custom. Indeed, I saw more Swedes in their underwear – business is clearly brisk for tattoo artists – than decent restaurants. It’s a great social leveler.

Mind over water

Our thoughts matter and absolutely affect the atmosphere. Let us be grateful for the abundance of nature. Our gratitude for this abundance can indeed guide us toward a better use of our life-giving resources, and creating industries that produce what we need in abundance without pollution.

Sails and Marketing

Traditionally, ruling the waves has meant waiving the rules.  Ship owners in wealthy maritime nations have registered their vessels in countries with no minimum wages, labour standards, corporate taxes, or environmental regulations; in short, every corporation’s dream.

Naval Gazing

Despite the Hollywood hype, piranha only devour dead flesh. Should you fall into the Amazon River, a tour guide from Den Blå Planet in Copenhagen advises flailing about to let these aquatic scavengers know you’re alive.

Winging it in Club World

I’m more of a pettifogger than a slobber-blogger, given to fault-finding and spin reversing many a spellbinding PR tale. I’m usually the witch sprinkling sneezing powder over the fairy dust but it’s hard to find fault with something you love

Flying down the sharp end

Last year I decided that my advancing years meant that I should pay more attention to the adverts on the radio and upgrade to First Class. I rationalized the extra cost with the fact that I had very few accommodation costs in the UK,  had no children to support and that I bloody well deserved it.

Three chairs for Arne!

Designed for Copenhagen's Hotel Royal. which opened in 1960, Arne Jacobsen's Egg Chair cracked the nod in homes, offices, clubs and airports around the world, starring in several Hollywood movies and cradling the buttocks of the rich and famous.

Limping down memory lane

When Carol Lazar used to attend business conferences, she'd only take one pair of formal shoes. In New York, while dressing for a morning session, she discovered the heels of her shoes didn’t match. One was high, the other low ...

You can’t be Sirius!

Mistaking my hesitation for shyness, he hauls me to my feet and propels me to a quiet spot away from the group, the better to bend my ear.“Know how to find Alpha and Beta Centauri?” he asks. Who cares? I'd much rather find a G&T!

Hotel hacks

Laundry is another bugbear for the corporate backpacker. Most contracts or company travel policies stipulate the “incidentals are for your own account”. My shirts cost less than what they charge to launder one in most hotels, and for prolonged stays you see the costs mounting.